I tasted success.
It wasn't handed to me,
I earned that shit.
I worked my fuckin' ass off
to become the man I am.
To have worked for and with
some of the greatest minds of
our century,
That was a gift
that I am trying desperately not to Squander.
I had all I needed.
An amazing Wife,
two jobs that I was passionate about,
Great Friends around us,
the chance to rock a fuckin dance floor,
having fuckin fun,
in the way that friends crazy for each other have.
I fuckin squandered it all. I thought moving to my wife's birthplace
would be great for both of us. Just bad timing.
I don't regret moving to Cali
Well, not the second time coming back anyway
and I, now, feel very much at home here.
But things are fuckin rough, having to rebuild,
Completely.
Fuckin health insurance, accidents, fuckin pills, FUCK
I was however, from the bottom of my heart
Always Chasing Righteousness. It illuded me for a while.
and I left Hashem
and so he left me
Man I blew it.
I just muthafuckin' blew it people. We blew it.
I am rebuilding
and, while it seems fuckin
Impossible
because it feels like we can not catch up
sometimes,
just catch up to ourselves
Who We Were, and who We Are.
But we have fuckin found ourselves again
and perhaps we needed to go through all these SHITTY
Nightmares
To escape the will to run
run away into fuckin intoxicants
and evil people
We are, at least, clear in mind and body
and that is Something
I guess
But Fuck I do miss Success.
